From Rich To Robber

Stevie, I don’t know how you did it, mate, but you are just beautiful! You have made this company millions! From a scrawny kid in the Bronx to the head one of the largest companies in corporate America – not bad, my friend. Not bad at all.”

Steve, how do you do it?”

Congratulations, Steve, you’re the CEO now!”

Damn, brother, I’m jealous. So rich now, ain’t ya?”

Wow, so young and you’ve basically got everything, eh? Congrats!”

Hey, listen, I’ve got something nice here – you said you’ve been feeling pretty bored lately, right? Oh, don’t worry about what it is, man. It’s sweet, I swear to Jesus Christ!”

The board has to bring up the fact that the CEO, Mr. Steve Mathers, is sleeping on a meeting RIGHT NOW! Mr. Mathers, if you can’t remain professional and coherent as the head of a multi-billion dollar company then maybe you shouldn’t be running it!”

Hey, have you seen the boss lately? He’s looking like shit.”

I hear he’s been getting addicted to something…”

Yeah… it’s looking bad for the company.”

Today on 9 a.m. news: We have a breaking news reports – CEO tycoon Steve Mathers has been hospitalized from a drug overdose. Doctors have stated that it is a cocktail of heroin, LSD, and cocaine. Further developments will be released as we continue.”

Hey, have you heard about what happened to Mr. Mathers?”

Yeah… poor son of a bitch. Guy lost his position as CEO and I heard that his house is getting repossessed.”

Shame… well, hey, at least the spot for CEO’s open.”

You’re going for it, man?”

Hell yeah!”

Wow, hey, did you see him…?”

Yeahh… it breaks the heart. Steve has gone from being on the top floor at the company to sitting in front of the CEO building, asking for money. Did you see the injection marks on him? I think he’s been doing meth, too.”

Yeah, I saw that. He smells like piss and booze, too, and he’s got all types of scrapes on him. He’s been into fights, it seems.”

Breaking news report: Former CEO Steve Mathers was shot and killed by a store owner this evening. Mathers was holding up the store, demanding money from the owner when the owner pulled out a shotgun and shot Mathers three times in the chest. It was reported from the police that Mathers was high on coke, meth, heroin, and many other narcotics. This is a tragic story about a man, who literally owned the world, fallen from grace and groveling beneath the average people. All it took, to kill such a powerful man, was a pill. Tragic. Just tragic.”

Thanks, Vicky. On other news, we have a 5-year old performing dabbing in front of our own building…”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s