I’m one day. One goddamn day away from ending it all. You don’t know what I’ve been through, what trials my life was tested in. You think you got it rough? Well, I’ve got it ten times fucking worse. Don’t believe me? Then listen up.

I was born with three feet! No, that wasn’t a fucking typo! I was born with three motherfucking feet. That’s right, fifteen toes, three soles, and a lot of teasing. Oh, and ass-whoopings! You’d think when like three bullies have you pinned down and are punching you in the goddamn face that you’d have an advantage with your tri-ceptic legs but no! Matter of fact, it only helps them grab ahold of your legs and beat your bulging, blue-nerved thighs. Beautiful imagery, eh? But motherfucking wait, there is motherfucking more!

I’m an albino. Oooh, scarrrry, right? Well, guess what, I’m giving you the goddamn finger, cocksucker. Suck it. Why? ‘Cause you’re a cocksucker. But yeah! So, because of my “condition” (kiss my ass, “condition”), you already know I had TONS of religious and superstitious nuts up my ass!

Cursed, be thee, foul demon of a lunar tinge!”

FUCK YOU! IT’S A FUCKING CONDITION, YOU BACKWARDS ASSHOLE!

My therapist says I got anger issues and PTSD from the fact that my mother would milk my dick and sell the contents to neighbors. BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON I CAN PRODUCE MILK FROM MY DICK ‘CAUSE THAT’S FUCKING NORMAL!

I also got bullied. Oh, but you might be thinking, “Well, I got bullied, too, wah!” No, you suck-ass bitch. I’m taking kettle-bullied! Don’t know what the fuck kettle-bullying is? Lemme take you through a quick-ass lesson:

Kettle Bullying is where you take the legs of a person and you place steaming irons on the thighs, while stuffing the person’s mouth full of snake dung. Spectacular, ain’t it?

That shit and more shit and even MORE shit is what makes my shit of a life tough as shit compared to the so-called “shitty life” you claimed to suffer, you piece of shit.


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Check out my YouTube channel! I make create stories on there as well and tell them in a different type of format: Mr. X

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